Monkey Butler

the week of snot

2011-01-07T13:47:00.003-05:00

so i have been on vacation since jan 1st (whats that you say, with all that time off why no blog? we your loyal fans crave updates on your entertaining life so that we may live vicariously through it.... freakin liars.)

the reason there has been no blog is due to illness, not just my own but also that of my great son lachlan.... poor lil gaffer all full of snot, dripping from his nose mouth and eyes he looked so pathetic.

we spent the first few days cuddling and whimpering (him too not just me). luckily he is on anti-biotic's now and feeling amazing, back to his Tasmanian devil like self .

i have been spending the week watching movies and bonding with my little ragamuffin. despite being sick and sore it has been an amazing week, and i wish i could do it more often.....

my woody theory

2010-11-29T20:57:00.002-05:00

first things first i mean woody as in sheriff woody from toy story.

my wife and i were watching toy story 3 on the weekend (an increadably depressing movie bye the way) and jacqueline asked why woody never had a kid before Andy, since he is as old as Jessie, who had a kid before being sold or abandoned or something... and being stuck with that collector guy.

so where was woody before Andy had him?

my theory is he use to belong to Andy's dad, that's right, Andy's father never appears in any of the movies, nor is he even mentioned.

so i got to thinking, where could he be? he could of left them or was never even in the picture, but maybe he died, and before he died he gave his favorite toy to Andy and told woody to keep an eye on Andy.

this explains why no matter what Woody will not give up on Andy, and why he is so fiercely loyal to him at all costs.

even though he is just a toy he does take care of Andy and loves him. He even helps Andy move on in life and go to college (won't explain that in case anyone has not seen part 3)

but yeah that is my theory, the crazy things that go through my head eh?

well if you have any other theories i would love to hear them...

to christmas or not to christmas

2010-11-14T20:41:00.002-05:00

First off, I love Christmas LOVE IT!!!!

Yet my wife insists on starting the Christmas season now i.e. Christmas movies Christmas songs and that the tree must be up before December 1st.

I believe that all should be saved until December, that still gives you 26 days (including boxing day) for the Christmas season. this is plenty, why spread it out to the point where you forget to enjoy it while it is here. condensed Christmas is more potent than watered down Christmas.

Its bad enough that they put out Christmas stuff at walmart and the like before Halloween even finishes, and we have Christmas commercials braiding us soon afterwords.

THE BEST part of Christmas this year is going to be Lachlan's reactions to the tree and presents. that I can't wait for, the rest I want to enjoy and a reasonable pace so I can remember what really matters, Family.

AND egg nog.... mmm nog

YOU NEED TO STOP

2010-10-24T21:54:00.002-04:00

Every Friday morning i see people posting TGIF, seriously you all suck.

who are you people who work Monday to Friday jobs, what wold is this. the majority of us people work Saturdays, because we all suck.

i am advocating for a ban on "TGIF" unless of course we are talking about the wicked cool line up on abc (go teen angle go). until we all work Monday to Friday jobs we should be kind to us weekend impaired, if you do work Monday to Friday you have no idea how much it sucks to have to see all that stuff every week.

so please stop, i will give you cookies*

*cookies will automatically be installed on your computer when visiting my blog

babies are anarchist's

2010-10-23T20:52:00.002-04:00

thats right i said it,

baby's hate order, they see a shelf of dvd's they have to pull them off, you pile his bricks up into a building he knocks it down, you put there toys away they pull them out again even if they aren't playing with them.

baby's crave chaos. if babies ruled the world all would be lost to whims and fancy, and poop.

yet just like true anarchist's the secretly need order, set nap and feeding times. the constant of parental love.

despite the baby's foolish desire for chaos, it is order they truly need.

wipes off the cobwebs

2010-10-15T21:35:00.003-04:00

test test does this thing still work???

hmm seems to, lets see for sure

Bless me followers for i have sined, it has been 3 months since my last blog.

lots has happened in these 3 months, my son is now (almost) 9 months old.

he not only sits up by him self he stands up walks along the couch talks (i swear he says dada) and has one tooth. he seems to have the superhuman ability to constantly become cuter and cuter.

he loves to laugh and play. also likes to eat the phone and splash in the tub.
he is a constant source of joy in my life. i live to come home and play tag with him and my lovely wife.

any day now he will be walking and running and causing (more) trouble.

he also loves cheerios but then who doesn't

also i have moved within my job i no longer deliver furniture, ok well i still do, but my job is now technically a collector. i get to call all the people who don't pay there bills. so far its fun.

all this and i am still handsome, why is everyone laughing?????? you all suck i am going to bed.

he is wearing what?... He's Playing WHO!!??

2010-07-15T20:25:00.003-04:00

first off i would like to say that i am a huge green lantern fan, HUGE. I have a green lantern logo tattooed on my finger, like that huge.

so of course i am looking forward to the movie coming out next year (June 17 2011 to be exact) staring Canadian actor Ryan Renyolds, pee my pants excited... wait did i say that out loud... never mind that part.

ANYWAY, you can imagine my excitement when i heard they released a picture of Ryan in his much hyped cgi costume, and THIS is what i got

WHAAAAAAT?

this is what his costume is meant to look like. ohh yeah.

so now i am worried, sure they have plenty of time to change the costume, it is cgi after all, but will they, hopefully they will see an outrage from the fans, in fact, everyone should go HERE and vote for either "Meh, Talk about mediocre." or " why is it glowing? to much CGI!"

now moving away from DC and on to Marvel,

they outed Edward Norton from playing the Hulk, which i was against anyway, but now they are talking about casting Mark Gruffalo, to play the hulk... wait, what? not Gruffalo? Ruffalo? oh, ok what ever still, he is the dude from 13 going on 30 (yes i understand that movie also stared Jennifer "Elektra" Garner-Afleck, but that movie sucked, and yes i still own it) but still this man does not come off geeky enough to play Bruce Banner (sorry Norton, but you do!!)

that is still a rumor anyway so hopefull it doesn't pan out, and maybe Norton and marvel will make peace. but that i doubt.

Mulan.. bad for kids??

2010-07-12T15:43:00.002-04:00

i am currently watching Mulan, yes the disney movie based on a Chinese poem. what you didn't know it was based on a poem... wow, try and keep up.

anywho i am watching it with my niece, and i realized something, Mulan disobeys her parents and it all works out well. it teaches kids (mostly young girls) that if they miss behave they will become war heroes, this is simply not the case.

the majority of people who disobey get punished, not a medal.... so to all the young girls out there who are reading this (HA) listen to your parents, and stay the hell away from the Huns, they are bad bad people....

143 beer drinkin years

2010-07-01T10:13:00.002-04:00

i present a list of awesome Canadians and why they are awesome...

1. Michael J "Teen Wolf" fox, you look at back to the future and tell me it isn't awesome

2. Dan Aykroyd, Ghostbusters, Cone heads, and even that short lived tv show soul man.... ok maybe not that last one.

3. Jim Carrey, based solely on his days on In Living Colo(u)r

4. Keifer sutherland, yeah yeah he is on that 24 show (or was since it is done now) but he will always be the bad ass vampire from the lost boys.... (my wife is going to kill me for that)

5. Ryan "Green Lantern" Reynolds, Two Guys a Girl and a pizza place was awesome, no doubt.

6. Nathan Fillion, Captian Malcom Reynolds is space's biggest bad ass, move over Kirk

7. Anna Paquin, yeah lately she is naked alot on true blood... BUT she won an oscar at age 11.. what were you doing when you were 11.

8. Chris potter, yeah that guy from Kung Fu the legend continues, BUT he also played Gambit in the 90's cartoon, and he lived most of his young life in london... awesome.

9. Paul Gross, Due south was actually a really good show and he has done alot for canadian tv and cinema.

1o. Leslie Nielsen... need i say anymore then that eh

there are Hundreds more i know but i am to busy so deal with ten and happy canada day to the best country in the world....

never say never

2010-05-10T16:18:00.003-04:00

UNTIL.... you have kids....

this is an ongoing list of things i never expected to say or do in my life... and yet here they come....

1. "there's a tub in my tub??" - said when you go to have a shower and there is a small bathtub in my bathtub.

2. "wow what a great dookie." - never did i think i would ever be excited of another human's bodily functions... yet when your kid doesn't dookie for 2 days and drops a bomb you get excited... strange eh

3. "hahahahah" "what?" "he peed on me" - to think that i would ever get peed on and find it funny is ludicrous

4. "those kids shouldn't be doing that." - when you see some kids doing something you had fun doing, yet may be dangerous, you now see the error of your youthful ways.

5. after a day of a baby crying all day and giving you no rest, he finally goes to bed......"i miss him."

6. holding your baby all day and finally having someone take him..... a wanting to take him back immediately (related to no 5)

that is all for now.... as my son only sleeps for short amounts of time ..... and i miss him.....

never would of thunk it

2010-05-05T21:02:00.002-04:00

so today i saw an under cover police car. not to uncommon but something was different about this one.

when you think of an under cover police car what do you think of, i think of a normal police car but dark blue and with the lights hidden unless turned on, heck i have even seen dark blue dodge chargers, but there always dark blue and shiny and clean.

this car, as i said was different ..... it was an older beat up silver Pontiac g6... who the hell would of suspected that eh... ingenious in its simplicity, i can picture the meeting at the police station now.

Captain: "we haven't been having as much luck with our under cover officers as we would like, any one have any suggestions?"

random cop: "how bout we stop washing them every day."

Cap: "what do you mean?"\

cop: "well, who has a 3 year old car that is clean as new every day, while i am at it, why not use a different type of car then we use for the regular cruisers too."

Cap: "...... uhhhh?"

cop: "people know what a cop car looks like even when it doesn't have a set of lights on top."

Cap: "...... wow, how come no one has ever suggested this before????"

Cop: " i dunno too busy shooting bears??"

HEY YO

that bear joke is timely but i am sure it will stand the test of time.

whats a blog?????

2010-04-23T09:50:00.003-04:00

so here i am close to 4 months with out a real blog update... that's redonkulous right.... bite me it has been a busy time for me.... i had a kid after all...

Thats right Monday January 25th at 5:08 am weighing 7 pounds 5 and measuring in at 19.5 inches Lachlan William Viger ESQ (ok not ESQ) was born.

since then there have been some good times and some worrying times, he has already had a urinary tract infection and due to his young age he had to be admitted to the hospital for 7 days of observation and IV antibiotics.... so yeah sorry i didn't come on and rant *sarcasm*

but there have been so many moments that make it all worth while... like when he wakes up in the morning and i go to get him, he sees me and gets his huge smile... or when he does things like makes a sound so loud he startles him self, or has long in depth conversations with his good friend toucan Pam. this kid is so damn cute you want to hug him till he squishes, which i have been told i am not aloud to do.

so his 3 month birthday is approaching (happens to fall on my fathers birthday) and he is starting to sleep better, he sleeps through the night no problem from 8(ish)pm until somewhere between 6 and 7 am, his day time naps are improving as well but were still working on that... and by we i mean mostly my lovely wife.

ah yes my wife, here all day with the little Lach-ness-monster, dealing with his crying and refusal to stay asleep for the length of time his body needs, and does it all with a smile, she is the proudest mother there could be. heck she even refuses to be called anything but mommy now because its the best title she could ever want.

so does this rant mean that maybe i will have time to post more blogs in the future... who knows but i will try, i mean Dave is probably going through withdrawal with out them.

coming soon

2010-01-15T22:17:00.002-05:00

coming soon to my blog (hopefully)....

1. Why Transformers 2 sucks

2. baby bloging

3. the broccoli is a miracle guy pisses me off

4. spiderman movie news rants

5. general geekdom

i am really hoping to have some time to flush out these topics i am sure once the baby comes i will have plenty of time......... for some reason my wife is laughing at me.

nov 25th

2009-12-21T15:48:00.002-05:00

i know i have had internet issues but seriously that is almost a month..... i suck

ok here we go for a quicky

one i just turned 25 and the same day was 4 weeks until my son is born.... god did i feel old... but in a good way.
i am 25 years old and i have a beautiful wife nice home son on the way... i feel good abotu where i am in life.... could use a higher paying job but then again who couldn't right..... well bill gates i think is ok... bastard

also Jerry O'Connell is an underrated actor

and screw you fox stop canceling all of joss wedon's shows.... bastards..

Christmas is coming Christmas is coming yippy

i am thirsty....

so i cannot promise to blog more in the new year but i can promise that when i do, it will have alot of new baby humor in it..... yay poop jokes

cause i will probably not blog before christmas merry Christmas to all

p.s. i can't wait till my lil lach ness monster shows up :D

what the F#@K is the internet

2009-11-25T08:23:00.002-05:00

i will be internet-less for a couple of days (until Tuesday sometime) as i am switching from Rogers to Bell... we are also swithcing over our phone and tv so i will be getting a new phone number and tv package... luckily we own the pvr not rent it so we will have cable up to when they cut us off... which should be Sunday... and have new tv back on Tuesday morning....its all very exciting

couple of quick notes to hold off my adoring fans

watch TURTLES FOREVER it is amazing lol

also watch Star trek... if you can get past sylar as spock (which i must say is not easy) then you are set

one month until Christmas.... are you ready... i'm not.. but almost... and less then a month until my birthday.... buy me lots of purdy gifts lol kidding

phlem does the body good

2009-11-16T09:22:00.002-05:00

so here is the update on life of andrew... hey wait... don't leave...... it will be interesting i assure you.... hopefully

anywho.. big news first according to the doctor me and my wife are having a baby boy... his name will be Lachlan William Viger... and he won't be aweSOME he will be aweLOT!!!

this has been interesting bit of information as we were (for some reason) convinced we were having a girl (no one tell him). also we have been able to buy some non green and yellow clothes... it is making it all the more real... i am having a son :)

also we had our first pre-natal class.... kind of a let down as we spent half the class .... meditating... we figured they would be talking about breathing and all that but our teacher is a meditation specialist or something and we will be focusing ALOT on breathing and going to a happy place so my wife doesn't notice she is pushing out a human being.... yeah right ok

we were also disappointed to find out that there is no hospital tour (which was a main factor in signing up for this thing in the first place) they actually give you a dvd of the hospital tour ... so very personal.... then you have to bring the dvd back..... yeah they don't even let you keep it... not like anyone would want to but still.

also Christmas is coming.... i know this because i have a Christmas tree up in my living room... we weren't going to put it up yet, but we were doing other decorating and we needed to know how big it was going to be so we could plan around it.... so up it went... and it is freagin huge... nice though lights already on it and if we want... it spins.... we do not want... but still cool

oh and my ankle is puffy.... and hurty..... but getting better. i twisted it at work on saturday, that cupled with this cold that seems to be on the way out has made everything slow going. god bless cough medication (especially the night time ones)

I SEE SNUFFLEUPAGUS PEOPLE!!

2009-11-10T09:21:00.002-05:00

thats right... 40 years of sesame street as of today.... thats 40 years of big bird but only 24 years of elmo.... that annoying red little guy.

as much as sesame street has influfanced everyone who grew up since 1969 i mostly want to talk about puppets.... that's right puppets.

I FREAKIN LOVE PUPPETS.... and not in any kinda creepy way. i just love them ... the muppets were my favorite when i was growing up, i just enjoy them and i don't know why. Maybe it is because (as far as i know) i never had an imaginary friend and i always wanted one... i tried but none of them would be my friend. stuck up imaginary people...

anywho for what ever reason i have a deep appreciation for puppets... there is a skill to it too that should not be over looked. its really an art, creating characters and making them move so that you can almost believe they are real.

continuation of the suck

2009-10-27T17:57:00.003-04:00

apparently i didn't vent my anger enough for some peoples liking so here it goes

What i hate about vampires:

mainly what i hate is this trend that vampires can be your friend, boyfriend, cuddle bunny, or what ever. mostly with twilight and the vampire diaries, look vampires are sexy because they are dangerous and forbidden, if you make them so damn accessible they will loose there charm. so make some damn scary vampire shows/movies and do it now.

as for Edward cullen, your moody emo and you freakin sparkle.. what is up with that?

vampires are not your friends.. you do NOT date them, you kill them. end of story.

the next vampire story i want to see the vampires should be the bad guys, and us humans should be killing them.

now i just ranted about how i hate good vampires, but i am going to talk about some good vampires that i like.

Angel and Spike, from Buffy the Vampire slayer.

Now angel was the first so i will start with him.

Angel was a good vampire but not by his choice, he was cursed with a soul so he had to feel every death he ever caused. it was a bad thing to be the good vampire, he spent decades wallowing in self pity, and the rest of the time trying to atone for his sin's he is the tragic hero in full swing.

but better than him (and yes i said better) is spike. spike was an evil vampire and a friend to angelus (evil angel) and his journey to being a good vampire was much different.

it started with a chip... computer not potato, put into his brain to stop him from hurting humans. he had to survive on pig and donated blood. after a while he missed the action and the fight, and in this he found his chip could allow him to hit demons and vampires and the like, one step in the right direction
the he fell in love, with buffy (who i must say is not worthy of all the people who seem to fall in love with her in that show) so with this new found love he eventually wanted to make him self a better person, someone buffy could love back, so he took part in the demon trials, and when he won he was granted any one thing he wanted, and he wanted his soul back.

this is why i like spike better, he chose and fought to get his soul back, he wanted it more. this is shown in the 5th season episode of angel where spike beats angel to a supposed magical chalice, where who ever drinks of it is truly the vampire with the soul who was written ab...blah blah blah you dont want to hear all that.... point was it was a trick and it was filled with mountain dew, but spike sill one.

so i hope that rant helped fill the void left by the last vampire post

hope you all have a happy Halloween

warning this one may suck (hehe)

2009-10-27T09:39:00.002-04:00

in honor of all hallowed eve i have decided to do my planed blog about vampires... more importantly the difference between the more popular interpretations of said vampires, and the new trend of the cuddly vampires.... some who sparkle *barf*

lets start with my favourite vampires

Buffy the vampire slayer vampires.

These vampires are demons who inhabit the corpse of a dead human.
they are super strong and fast,they also heal quickly but generally they have no extra ordinary powers like flight or shape shifting (not including Dracula, who you find out in season 8 comic run, actually got his powers separately from becoming a vampire) they also have super senses.

they need to drink human blood to survive, but can also survive on the blood of other animals like rats or pigs.

personally they are the human they were before but with out a soul and inhibitions.

there weaknesses are fire, sunlight, having there heart penitrated by wood and having there head severed from there bodies.

they are without souls thus they feel no remorse for there horrid actions until they are re souled like spike and angel, some take it better than others, some spend decades in guilt, some spend a month in a school basement.

though they are without souls they can still feel feelings of love and hate.

when they are killed they turn to dust... for easy clean up and avoiding those pesky murder charges from police officers who are out of the loop.

now that all being said they don't have the cool powers like some vampires do, so they may not win in a fight with some of the other vampires

secondly let us address the very similar

Blade movie vampires

they are similar to the buffy vamps, in that they have the same powers and turn to ash when they die.

as far as i know they can only survive on human blood or blades serum.

they are more scientific in origin, claiming that vampirism is a virus that is passed on from either from birth or bite.

they also have different weaknesses instead of a wooden stake to the heart they can be killed with a silver stake to any vital organ, also they are week to garlic. they are still weak to sun, but in the nature of being more scientific they are actually reactive to uv light natural or man made.

they are much different then there counterparts in marvel comics that blade is based on. i am not going to get into that because comics have way to much back story to try and sum up lets just say they were created by priests in atlantis before it sunk ... yeah told you

now for another one of my faves

night watch/day watch/twilight watch/final watch vampires.

the watch vampires are similar to blade vampires by way of being able to be born or turned through bite.

they are weak to sunlight yes but more so they are weak to high levels of alcohol and magic

vampires are licensed to hunt humans and are given a seal , if they get out of line the seal can be used to kill them instantly.

most vampires are just common low level dark others who are looked down on by other..uh others... yeah. they have no real power besides strength longer life and speed. the one power they do have is the ability to call humans to them like a siren.

some vampires can reach the level of higher vampires but it is hard to achieve as you have to completely drain 100 humans of blood. when they become higher vampires they are able to use magic in ways that lower vampires can't.

they are not inherently evil and some even choose to live on donated blood.

now for the trendy vampires

the ones you can take home to mother, sure angel was a good vampire, and so was spike eventually. but they were cool becasue they were unique and hell it was not even angel's choice to have his soul.

lets get into the new wave of vampres

Twilight vampires

yes everyone's favorite golden eyed smooth skinned sparkly vampire boyfriends

they can survive on animal blood but it takes years of training not to eat every human who walks by.

they are super strong and fast have all the senses as the other vampires but they have no weakness that the average human can take advantage of.

to be killed they must be dismembered and burned... a feat only another vampire can do, which is actually kind of cool in the way that it makes them scarier but it also means that us normies have no chance if they get hungry.

some of the vampires have special abilities but only if they had some sort of ability when they were human.

they are really way to popular for people who sparkle

now for the similar

The vampire diaries vampires

so far i don't know to much about them sept they seem a little bit more based on original vampire ideas but with the whole lovable vampire twist

they are strong and fast. when the feed on human blood they get faster and stronger and the ability to contoral human minds, summon mist and crows.....

i will learn more about them as the show goes on. till then i will with hold judgment.

well there are some vampires... there are WAY to many to get into so i stuck with tv and film
vampires (and even then not even close to all of them)
hope it was informitive

525 948.766 minutes

2009-10-24T19:02:00.003-04:00

as of tomorrow it will have been one year since my wife settled for me :)
yes a whole year of marital bliss

and what a year it has been. bought renovated and set up a house, have a baby on the way. we both have worked our little butts off to keep our lives happy.

sure there have been disagreements and the such, but every day i get to go to bed beside my best friend and the most beautiful woman in the world, so obviously it is all worth it.

my child will be here in a matter of months and i could not be more excited.. and a little worried

i am mostly worried about when the child becomes older and i have to be the parent, discipline them when they are doing something bad, even if it is adorable at the same time. i have to not laugh and be stern ... not easy to do.

then there is the obvious changing of diapers that i am NOT looking forward too but that is obvious.

what i am looking forward to is playing with him/her, raising them and trying to teach them wrong from right, and that green lantern is the greatest superhero ever and not jack bauer like some people may think (sorry hunny)

also i am looking forward to rising to the challenge, i don't know if i will be a good father but i do know i will never stop trying to be, i just hope when he/she grows up they can look at me like i look at my parents and know that even though they are not perfect they did the best possible job and i am proud of them.

that right there is they key, to let them know you love them and you are doing the best you can for them, hopefully it will be enough.

well heres hoping i make the grade.

day late...i am way to busy for this shite

2009-10-15T07:46:00.003-04:00

so yes i promised a real update for yesterday and i failed... turns out i had a lot of stuff to do on my day off

Get an oil change
clean house which includes:
clean bath tub
sweep/swiffer vac floors
mop floors
do laundry (including bedding in spare bedroom)
do dishes
call grandpa and invite him to dinner on sunday
other calls that are important
small amount of grocery shopping
take a nap
go buy a high chair for my upcoming child
cook a giant steak

there ya go i was busy.......

so i really need to do a real update... here are some ideas i am working on

comparing vampires in various movies books tv and film

more things i hate

things i like (gonna try and be positive lol)

things i am excited for when i have my baby and things i am NOT looking forward too

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVE NOW!!!!

hey dave

2009-10-12T18:55:00.002-04:00

so it has been brought to my attention that it has been 20 days since my last blogy blog.

update time... happy turkey day to all first off

unfortunately i have nothing planed so i am just going to wing it

last weekend i painted my baby's room as well as put up blinds painted trim assembled a change table and crib.... that kid could come home tomorrow and it would have a place to sleep..... it would just be WAY to small... so were letting it grow a bit longer :D

i actually did the first coat of paint at 10 pm saturday... took me less than 2 hours. SOMEONE was to excited to have me wait till sunday morning .... oh wait that someone was me :D

AHHHHH my wife just shone (if that is how you spell that) a flashlight in my eyes... FREAKIN BRIGHT ... now i see spots

where is nothing on tv on monday at 7... 8-bedtime is fine but at 7 there is nuttin but little house on the prairie .... oh pa ingles, your hair is redicerus.

side note my feet are cold.... i have socks on and all its just cold in my house....... were trying to keep the heat off till november... taking bets as to if we can last :)

i want more turkey .... mmm turkey or ham... and mash taters..... strange i wasn't hungry before i started bloging.... i blame dave

ok i need to do a real one soon maybe wednesday, till then this is all i gots

don't call it a comeback... who says that?

2009-09-22T15:08:00.003-04:00

time for a list of things i hate.... special driving edition
old things i hate here, here and possibly here

now onto the new things i hate about driving!!

as you can tell from past rants i hate driving even though i do it for a living.... so i have lots of little things that make up the whole of why i hate it

1. people who don't understand turn signals, you use it not only to turn but to change lanes you know, and you have to put it on BEFORE you turn so people know ahead of time that you will so they can prepare, it is NOT just something you have to do because it is the law it is something to keep everyone safe, because if you don't do it i will kill you.... you have been warned

2. people who drive to slowly, the speed limit isn't the fastest you can go it is how fast you MUST go (as long as they guy in front of you isn't going slower of course, but then this is directed at that person not you, your ok) going to slow is called impeading trafic and it is just as bad as speeding.

3. people who almost come to a complete stop before turning into a driveway or parking lot. you are still part of traffic even though you have decided you need a double double and a blueberry doughnut (this portion of the rant brought to you by Tim Hortins, coffee is gross)

4. bikers (the pedal kind not the scary kind that kills people in barns) on the road, i know the law here is that they are NOT aloud to be on the sidewalk but that is stupid, what would you rather happen, a person on a bike hit someone walking, yeah it sucks and someone might break a bone at the most, but if that biker was on the road and he gets hit by a car.... no more biker. priorities people come on. and if they are on the road then they MUST obey the road, ie stooping at stop lights, riding on the right side of the road, and remember that impeding traffic thing i mentioned, if you have a pile of cars behind you pull over and let them pass.

5. people who txt or talk on the phone while driving, PAY THE F@#K ATTENTION there is some dick on his bike in front of you!!!

6. dogs in cars, not all dogs in cars, just the ones who sit on the drivers lap, or those ones who move around the car a lot. if your dog can't behave leave him at home. i am not getting tboned because your dog was chewing on one.

7. construction, DAMN IT

8. when it rains and people lose there shit, no one seems to remember how to drive with the addition of water. they are mogwai, little water and watch out a hundred idiots on the road

9. those d-bags who have the 34 inch sub in there trunk that vibrates the bolts off my wheels at the stop light, yeah thanks i kinda need those, and no one likes that lame euro trance you are pumping out at 23452 db thanks

10. people who don't drive in lanes, this includes people who drive in 2 lanes and people who drive through the parking spots on the side of the road when there is no one parked there, its not a freakin lane learn how to drive.

11. when your driving and BAM..... ya gatta go poop.... i don't think i need to explain this.

12. gas... this is not related to the above one, i mean paying for fuel LAME

13. when your driving and you leg cramps.. you can't really stretch it out so you just have to deal with it.

14. when the people at leons yell at you for doing donuts in there parking lot after a heavy wet snow fall.. (this one actually happened to my dad... good times)

15. getting stuck in said snow.

ok that is all i have for today but i am sure there are plenty more, and yes i know there are some good things about driving so its still the best option most times.

and all the ones that take place on the road are only annoying when they are doing it even when it is safe not to, obviously i am not going to yell at someone who is driving 4o in a 50 during a monsoon.

and we shal call it.... this land

2009-09-05T19:31:00.004-04:00

so i was thinking about comics earlier (and lets face it when do i not) and i was thinking about why i like characters that i like and such. so what better way to figure it out than to talk it out and provide some good insight into my brain for my thousands and thousands of fans...... (shhh no one tell my ego that that is a lie)

first off the obvious

Green lantern (and since i am starting with him i will stick to DC for now)

this once "2D" character has grown into one of the top dc characters in thanks largely to Geoff Johns .... my hero.

but why do I like him, simpley, because his powers don't rely on the physical as they do the mental, also his powers are routed in creativity, will power and imagination. it is something that a fat kid who likes to consider himself creative can identify with.

i should state that when i was a kid i was into marvel... then when i became too old for comics and stoped it took me until i was in college to get back into them... and when i did that i tended to lean towards dc. also when this happened Kyle was the green lantern, and he was a little bit more the embodiment of the creative aspics of the character, while Hal had more the will power part. to different sides of the same coins.

i like the idea of will power and overcoming fear being able to defeat the bad guy not just punching him REALLY REALLLLLLY hard. though i can see the fun in that too.

ok next dc first stringer

the bat-man

not going to spend a lot of time on him because i don't need too

batman is awesome because he can do anything and yet he has no powers whatsoever, the man is pure determination (though i would call it OCD most of the time)

batman seeks to control the world (or his part of it) because when he was a child he had no control over the fate of his family, never has a mental illness been used as a superpower.

next up

SUPER................boy

yup Conner Kent, F*&$ Kal-el

conner is way more interesting of a character

half superman and half lex luthor torn between his desire to do good and his fear of becoming evil.

he has grown as a character in ways that the real superman wishes he could.
from the teenager who wanted everyone to call him superman, to superboy living in Hawaii just being a normal (with superpowers) teen.
then when he becomes a teen titan and finding out the truth of his past and sacraficing his life to stop superboy prime and Alexander Luthor from destroying reality and of course returning to life... took them long enough

last of the dc's for now

Green Arrow, like batman with out the anger (most of it) and ocd

also the only socialist hero that i can think of

he is funny but opinionated he knows what is right but still is just a human.

i will probably come back soon with the mavel half of this list

blogtrick (like hattrick)

2009-09-04T09:10:00.004-04:00

i may have mentioned my tv package has suffered shrinkage so today before work i am stuck watching a limited number of channels, so right now i am on Regis and Kelly, wow, how is this show still on, regis is getting old and forgetful and kelly seems to be getting skinier... i am afraid she is going to vanish before my eyes.... and that's all in 3 min of watching it... *shudder*

this is my third blog this week.... partially because of the aforementioned cable shrinkage and partially because i don't update this enough

i think i need to work on a new things i hate, but i dunno if i have anymore things.... yet i am so full of rage *grrrrr*

i may add regis and kelly to my list
possably pat sajack too

don't stop believing .... seriously don't

2009-09-03T07:39:00.003-04:00

so i watched Glee with the wife last night not a bad show and since i will probably have to watch it every week that is a good thing

it does remind me a lot of the movie election, with the over achieving female lead, though she may not be as evil, yet to be determined, also the involved teacher with marital problems tricking the jock kid into the thing he is running (student government / glee club)

also a little bit of Highschool musical, jock playing sports and singing....

i could go on but SHIT i gotta go to work :(

achhooooooooooooooooo.....oooooo

2009-09-02T19:54:00.003-04:00

i have had what seems like 3 weeks of heavy allergies .. sneezing runny nose ... needless to say i am extra sexy lately ohhyeah baby

..... speakin of babies!!
as you may know my wife is prego... thus babies.... i had a realization the other day... when my baby is old enough to get into music my fave bands will not be around... bands like metallica who were actually around before I was born, will surly be gone, though hopefully not forgotten. hopefully they will be able to survive the test of time, but what of less popular/famous bands, like say the offspring, awesome band and yes they have been around for a good long while... but will they stay around or am i going to have to introduce my child to them with outdated cd's!! they will think i am crazy? or will they? i mean lots of kids are into rush and led zeppelin and the Beatles still. why not the offspring in 16 years? this is of serious concern to me... i am strange :)

now for a review of last weeks comics

"red" hulk 14: still have no idea who he is.... strating to not care

Teen Titans 74: WHY do they always kill off the ones i like.... first of they killed superboy, over at marvel they killed Icarus, now kid devil all my second (possably third) tier characters are falling to the waist side... good thing they brought superboy back... lesions my pain

flash rebirth 4: lot of info in one issue, i am totally going to have to reread this whole series a couple times once it is done, its beautiful though, you can love it just for the art mmm purdy

Batman the widening gyre 1: kevin smith returns to batman whooot..... since when does poison ivy want to bone batman....love the idea of ivy using pot plants to try and make batman high... classic smith humour all the way through, good story telling much better than Batman: Cacophony, which i just couldn't get into even though i liked onomatopoeia as a villain and apparently only smith is aloud to use him. so a good issue to start off his and walts second series.

thats all i got for now.... need to have a funny blog soon or i may loose Dave as a fan ;)

the never ending battle, for reason

2009-08-20T09:02:00.004-04:00

so i am watching the daily show with Jon Stewart, and he is ripping apart fox news for the way they cover American citizens protesting government policy, when Bush was in power the people protesting were "loons" but the ones protesting Obama are great American's. (by the way my spell check doesn't recognize Obama, it wants to correct it to Obadiah)

but to me it seems that Jon is fighting up stream, he spent the entire first part of his show piece by piece taking apart there attempts at logic and showing exactly how they are now everything they once condemned , but the problem is people to the far side of ANY political view. if it be left or right, are so warped up in there own BS that logic cannot get past it.

but keep fighting the good fight jon, we are here for you!!

i have been planing to review some comics on this blog but by the time i get time to do it i am usaly a week behind on the comics i want to review, so even though i don't have time, i want to do some quick reviews. (some may be from last week and some from this)

Batgirl #1

good intro to the new (ongoing?) series, like how you don't have to wait 14+ issues to find out who new batgirl is *coughrulkcough* ended on a good clifhanger and i hope they focus on what the hell happened to cassandra cain she is one of my fave characters and they totaly have been under using her in the last several years

Blackest night: superman #1

liked it better than the batman one loved the showing of mixed emotions, which has been lacking in other blackest night series', i was wondering if it was possable to be more than one at a time. and it semed much more emotionaly drivin than the batman one.

Ultimate avengers #1

interesting, once again find out who red skull is (kinda) in the first issue, but the whole issue is one fight scene and not much depth

Ultimate spiderman #1 (last #1 i swear)

much more full and rounded story than avengers, interesting twists, cliffhangers and peter working at a fast food restaurant. we even get to see a story that could of came straight off notalwaysright.com classic parker

Invincible #65

nice warping up to past events, setting up next storylines, and character developments, seriously still in this transitional issue probably the best superhero comic in print. but i still have no idea why they bothered to increass Atom Eve's boob size... seemed out of character to me.

there you have it friends and random people who are fallowing my blog, a good decient update, i really need to do this more.

why is there a kitten in this couch

2009-08-11T11:55:00.002-04:00

lots of fun stuff.... one had an ultrasound on friday... my baby (who is still to young to identify the sex) moves ALOT but seems to be healthy and photogenic)... it was very surreal

also on the weekend i got blinds (FINALLY) for my living room and bedroom... time to take down the garbage bag that is on my windows.

and now for the strange story

yesterday at work, we picked up a couch from a customer at around 3:30... this person has a house full of children and pets, apparently so many it makes it hard to keep an eye on constantly.
aprox 3 hours latter i receive this call.

customer: "hi, umm this may sound really strange but.... do you have my kitten?"

me: ".... WHAT?"

C: "yeah.. uh when you picked up my couch today, well afterward i couldn't find my kitten. so we think it may have gotten in to the couch."

at this point i am freakin out becasue we didn't exactly handle that couch with kid gloves and we left it in the truck from when we picked it up to that point, and it was HOT out.

m: "uh ok hang on let me go check...."

i run out to the truck and open the back, freakin out because i do not want to find a dead cat in my truck.....

i get on the truck and lift up a pillow and looking up at me is a scared lil kittie.

the kittie was totaly fine and friskey.

m: "yeah i have your kittie he seems to be ok"

c: "oh thanks we will come get it now"

the next half an hour was spent me trying to keep the cat in the box and getting it to drink watter... that damn cat would not stay in the box... kept trying to jump around

all this while trying to close the store and take payments... but i managed they got there cat and all was well.

feel like batman... minus the OCD

2009-07-21T11:58:00.004-04:00

so i work in a not-so-nice part of town, and we often get the pleasure of watching some interesting things, hookers being the most common and entertaining. Normally we just watch them from afar and giggle at them when they get picked up. but this particular hooker crossed the line and came up to our store and asked our customers to *insert dirty stuff here*

lucky the customer was in good humor and just laughed it off but we can't have hookers taking our customers money so they can't pay us!!

she ended up getting into a minivan... who knows why... but then in about 20 min she was back.. strange i know.

i should also say that this lady of the night, has been "hitchhiking" out side our store every day for almost a week.

so this time she was across the street when a police car happened to be cutting through our parking lot so i ran up and told them that she had been approaching our customers, and off they went.

they caught up to her a little down the street, but luckly still with in view (hehehe) they talked to her for a while, and eventually they put her in the back of the car and drove off... i do kinda feel bad for ruining her working day, but at the same time i feel like i faught crime :D.

on the note of fighting crime, watchmen comes out on DVD today..... i hate being poor i want to watch it right now!!!!!!! whats even worse is that with this DVD i think i wouldn't be happy with the single disk edition, so that jumps the price up to 28 + tax LAME

ONTOP of that the Green Lantern Animated movie comes out NEXT week, and i need to get that so i can force my wife to watch it so maybe i can FINALY get her to see how AWESOME he is.... i seem to be CAPSING alot of words in this PARAGRAPH... hehe

so to sum up... if you have hookers giving you trouble give me a call..... and pay me so i can buy movies (there tied it all togeather)

not trying out for the pin pals

2009-07-19T11:54:00.003-04:00

turns out i suck at bowling, i thought wii bowling was suppose to prepare me for the real world.. technically i won the first game (and by a large margin) but i only got 124... second game i lost by 1 pin i had 97 lame eh well i better stick to ..... uhh what ever it is i am good at..... i am sure i will think of something.

side note.... i actually have followers .... people i don't know even, so i am going to say thank you to you people....if you actually do read this blog feel free to comment and tell me who you are i am always up for making new friends :D

also bowling makes your muscles hurt.... stupid physical activity i might have to do more of it....someday

Harry potter and the half drunk chick

2009-07-17T09:09:00.003-04:00

The wife and I went to see the good old potter boy on Wednesday, that's right opening night were that damn crazy!!! well last movie we actually went to the midnight showing so i guess not as crazy.

The movie was good, the book of this movie is probably the thickest book so unfortunately a lot got left on the editing floor, like potter getting kicked off the Quidditch team, Ron's cooler older brother being engaged to that chick from the other movie/book blah blah blah a lot of interesting stuff that just would not fit. it sucks but it has to be done. one thing i didn't like that they changed was harry and ginny getting together, they still kinda do, but it was done much better in the book.

The special effects were great the movie was funny and emotional at all the right parts, all in all good times.

what was not good times was the annoying trio of girls in front of us who would not shut the F*CK UP they were giggly and asking questions and one was checking her damn cell phone every 3 min, when did people get so rude? they were asked to be quiet by several different people and i almost punched them in the face..... i would of been given a medal i know it.

on a completely separate note, Blackest night started this week, Yet another cross company story from DC comics, don't get me wrong i am looking forward to this way more than i was over final crisis, but i would prefer if they did it more in the vain of Senestro corp war, were they kept the most of it contained to Green lantern and Green lantern Corps, with a couple of 1 shots here and there. this story has green lantern, green lantern corps, blackest night, blackest night, tails of the corps, a series of titles that run for 3 issues (blackest knight: superman, batman, teen titans etc) as well as having references in all dc books, for example: this weeks Titans featured a banner on the cover (a cover that has nothing to do with the internal story by the way) addressing it as a prelude to blackest night, and the story had 2 panels that reference the on coming story.

all this said, i am still excited for it!!!!!

Beware my power, or not

2009-07-10T21:58:00.002-04:00

so they finally cast the lead role for green lantern and the role goes too *drum roll*

Ryan Reynolds

hmmm

ok I love Ryan Reynolds and he totally has the right look for Hal and i do like that he is a comic fan because you know he will want to keep it close to source BUT Ryan always plays the same character and i can't think of a serious role that he has had that makes me think he can pull it off. when i heard christian bale was playing batman i thought back to American psycho and i went "yeah he can do it"
i am a HUGE Green Lantern fan (i have the logo tattooed on my finger) so i need this movie to be good for me to be able to continue living my life a happy man.

he does get extra points for being Canadian too :D

but... its so cheep!

2009-07-10T09:36:00.003-04:00

i meant to add this to yesterday's post, (not that post) but now i get to add a whole new one so yay me.

Costco, sure they have great deals, but then you just buy more.

what 309 rolls of toilet paper for only 100 dollars!!! that's only 33.333333333333 cents a roll!!! how can you go wrong!!! except that you just spent 100 dollars on toilet paper and you have no where to store 300 rolls of the crap....

.... we went there for soup and possibly some chicken (good deals) and ended up with a cart full of stuff, damn you buying in bulk.

do you see little yellow boxes too

2009-07-09T20:40:00.002-04:00

first off today i went to my wife's doctor appointment, it was quick and uneventful until the doctor tried to listen to the baby's heart beat, it probably only took him a matter of seconds to find it but i swear to god it felt like an hour, and i didn't take a single breath that whole time. i almost died, my wife finds it hilarious. evil she is.

also watch knowing, i downloaded it illegally ....... i mean rented it yes rented it its good and i love the ending. it has strong biblical parallels, but in a not obvious ways, so want to be nick cage... some days.

also, i still hate pants.

ALSO (lots of also's today) i want to be as cool as the parents on grounded for life (great show watch it)

ANGRY BLOG

2009-06-26T19:40:00.003-04:00

so me and the wife went to the theater to see the movie "my sisters keeper" (my wife loved the book and really look forward to seeing it)
i should explain we got a new theater that has this vip service.. from what i understood it was a separate area where you can watch the movie and order beer and not deal with annoying teenagers (sounds freakin brilliant eh) you must be 19 to sit in this section, BUT the tickets are about 20 bucks a person, so for our movie we were not planing to sit in the fancy section, especially since my knocked up wife can't drink anyway.
turns out when it is available in vip it is ONLY in vip and we would HAVE to pay 20 bucks to see it.
so we decided against it. it sucks because we could of went to the other theater and this would not have been a problem, but going to the new one meant we couldn't make it to the other one in time. so no movie for us totally sucked.
the part that really makes no sense is that it was a pg 13 movie but in a 19 plus theater. meaning no one under the age of 19 can see a movie that no one under the age of 13 can see..... WHAT horrible planing on there part.

the worst part of it all was the back up of transformers (which we would pay 20 bucks to see in the vip section, so we didn't have to deal with said annoying teenagers) was already sold out..... so here we are at home.... watching yes dear.... DAMN U CINEPLEX!!

things i hate 3 the revenge of the sith

2009-06-24T19:33:00.001-04:00

31. singers who complain about the paparazzi on there first album... like you know lady gaga
32. girls who keep there cell phones in there bra's ... get a purse
33. wookies, i mean chewie is cool but as a species they are over rated
34. when you are waiting for the bus and the not in service comes by, way to get my hopes up
35. Iphone's....... cause i want one :(
36. canceling good tv shows, i get less than one season of Drive, but we had to live with 9 seasons of Everyone loves raymond
37. people who bad mouth new simpsons episodes, i would like to see you be as funny after 20 years as they still are, they have made every story 80 times over and they still make me laugh.
38. humidify... i really don't need my boxers to be stuck up there thanks
39. when the bus stops for like 10 min for seemingly no reason (can you tell i wrote this on the bus)
40. people who believe that books (and comic books) are going to become non print media soon, i like both the feel of a good book and being able to show off my collection as a physical display and not numbers on my computer
41. sweater vests, like seriously WTF
42. pants, stupid bus driver
43. getting a new cell phone then seeing one you want better being released like 2 days latter... this works with computers and video game systems as well
44. highlander 2 ... Aliens? like, really!?
45. fat people on mopeds, just looks strange. you don't see me on a moped?
46. mopeds..... get a Harley
47. people who don't like Ben Affleck.... PHANTOMS LIKE A MO$#%^ F*#@$%
48. burger king, worlds slowest fast food (slow food anyone....... WHHAAAAAT? [if you get that you are my friend])
50. forgetting a number in your list
51. zellers, have you ever been in one? they haven't been updated since 1992
52. the jetsons.... HEY its like WAY past 1999.... WHERES MY FLYING CAR???? tease :(

spent a large part of the day writing

2009-06-09T19:54:00.006-04:00

****EDIT**** apparently some of the formatting from word didn't come over from word. so the multiple internal monologue's may not seem as apparent... he has 2 voices in his head if that helps clear anything

... i don't have to much to show for it but here it is.

its the beginning to a novel/story i have been thinking of..... pretty much about a crazy detective, its going to be a murder mystery, but this is just the intro so none of the plot are there, just some character development and exposition. 2 characters are introduced, and hookers, everything i write ends up with hookers? whats up with that.

i don't know if i should be posting this but i want some opinions and suggestions, but seriously don't just tell me it sucks, tell me why it sucks.

Why do I always end up in a dark alley surrounded by thugs, with knives? One thug to my right and three to my left, well only of them 2 have knives, the other has a chain with a hook, and at least he isn’t a sheep conforming to his friends. Except he is in a gang, trying to beat me, so how much of an individual can he be.

The ally is quite stereotypical , garbage bins, a couple of fire escapes, I even think there is a bum sleeping over there, well I hope he is sleeping. Though it would explain the smell. The thugs are equally as stereotypical, bandana’s, tattoos, lack of personal hygiene. The one thug standing back of the rest, seems to still be in training, as I can see actual skin in-between his tattoos and he doesn’t look like he is actually greasy.

“Listen homes, you need to get off our turf” thug number one has a strong Mexican accent, “and stop sticking your nose in our business.” Too bad he is white as a sheet. You can tell he grew up with a nice family; mom and dad both probably had good jobs, so obviously he has justification to rebel. And wear a silly outfit.

The one with the chain starts swinging the chain in a menacing way. Well it would be if it wasn’t obvious that he has no formal training in hooked chain swinging, and if he didn’t look like Elmer Fudd’s tattooed gang banger brother. Thug number 4 says nothing and looks scared, his hand is shaking so much I bet he could carve a pretty interesting pumpkin, or jack-o-lantern I guess, I miss Halloween, free candy rules, FOCUS. Guys with knives and fake Mexican accents now candy latter.

I guess it is time to sound confident. “listen guys I don’t want a fight, I just need Jimmy, his parents want him home, that happens maybe the kidnapping charge goes away and no one here gets hurt.” Especially me. And me, wait, never mind.

They all laugh in unison as if there an audience at a George Carlin show; I miss him, funny guy. One laughs a little more nervously then the rest, like he is laughing so he doesn’t cry.

The leader thug, the suburban rebel, shows no fear, damn. “You got bout 3 seconds to turn your white ass round and run home to mamma.”

It’s never easy is it? You’re tellin’ me! SHUT UP. I am tired of playing, time to start this so I can finish it. In a flash a chain flies towards my head, I was so busy trying to ignore that other guy I almost lost my head. I ducked in just the nick of time and the chain wraps around the fire escape. Our luck seems to be changing. Stop distracting me. Sorry.

As chain boy rassles with his misfortune the knife welding white Mexican lunges at me, thank god there not trained, but I am. I know several forms of martial arts, to many probably sometimes they get all jumbled up, blame the A.D.D. Out comes my Escrima sticks, and I block the fist lunge with ease. You are good at this. You said you would shut up. Fine but you spelt Eskrima wrong.

Before I can argue the second thug tries to skewer me. I decide to disarm this one right away to avoid a second pointy attack. I use the sticks to knock the knife out of his hand and give him a blow in the abdomen to knock the wind out him. The first thug comes back at me but he holds his knife to wide and leaves himself open to a stick to the face, maybe the broken nose will give him street cred.

The scared thug has yet to make a move. “Listen it doesn’t have to be this way,” TURN AROUND! Shut up I am..... FUCK. Chain boy seamed to get his chain unravelled and wiped it at the back of my head. Everything is fuzzy, spinning; did I remember to turn off the iron? You don’t own an iron, now get up. I try to stand up but my legs feel like jell-o, and at least 3 of them start kicking me down. The back of my head feels cold and wet. You’re bleeding. Now get up before it happens again. I can’t get up, I feel like I am going to puke. Fine, let me do it. Everything seems to go black.

Next thing I remember I am standing and the punks are running scared, except for Thug one, he is laying at my feet trying to catch his breath. I did what I could now get out of here. Maybe that is a good idea, I still feel woozy. I turn and run out of the ally back towards my car. Leave the car you can’t drive like this. It’s only a couple blocks back to the office I will walk. The city streets are so familiar to me now. It seems that I spend all my time walking them learning their secrets. I love being a detective, current head injuries not withstanding of course. I enjoy figuring things out, finding out why something has happened and who is responsible. The occasional street fights I can live with, I hope. Hey you almost missed your turn, less time on the internal monolog and more time getting back to work and receiving medical attention. Who are you? Don’t worry about it just walk. Fine but only because I am sure I have a concussion.

I can see my office from here, I am actually successful enough to be able to afford a nice office in a better part of town but having it here keeps me central to the majority of people I have to look at to find answers. I enjoy being in the heart of town, where the real people are. Not the...

Stand up buddy your almost there. Stand up? Did I fall? Yeah, it’s call massive blood loss so hurry it up. People always look at you funny when you have trouble standing up on a public street. Ok, where was I, ah, yes. I would never want to spend all my time on the fringes of town where all the fake people live. You live there. That was not my choice I didn’t buy it. You know you could have moved by now. I can’t do that, I just can’t. Why not, it has been years.

‘“Will you two just shut up?”

“What? We never said anything. Hey man your bleeding.” Two hookers, with hearts of gold, come to check on me. I didn’t even notice they were there.

“I’m fine I just need to get,” my office is about 2 more store fronts away. “right there.”

“Yes Harold we know where you are going, you need a hand.” Brandi is young and pretty, good for making money on the street but not good for her soul.

“Oh yeah, ok right, no. I can make it on my own, but if you see me fall between here and my office, feel free to call an ambulance.”

“Yeah sure right, lets go Brandi.” Marisa is a bit more jaded but still a nice girl for a hooker.

“I am sure I can make it on my own anyway.” I stumble the last 20 feet to the door. After fumbling in my pockets for my keys I manage to get in the door but only make it another 10 feet and collapse on the floor. I drift in and out of conciseness

“Harold? Get up. Oh shit your bleeding, again.” Someone helps me up to my office. Who is it?

“Miranda?” did she come back?

“Who is Miranda? Harold it’s me, Jade, your secretary. Do you know where you are?”

“Uh... Yeah sorry I think I may off passed out there. I made some major headway on the Sismon case.” Heh, head way. That’s funny because you may have a concussion. Will you please just leave me alone? “I just need to lie down.”

“No, you just need to go to a hospital.” Jade is nice, she is Asian-Canadian. I always liked Canadians, so nice. She came down here to try and be a model, but has a hard time finding work being just about 5 feet tall. She works for me because I give her anytime off when she needs to go to a gig or audition. That seems to be happening more and more.

“No it isn’t that bad, it’s just a small cut that is bleeding a lot. The falling and not getting up is from the getting kicked in the spine.” I lift up my shirt and by the look on her face I probably have a size 13 burse on my back in a couple places. Just give me some advil and let me sleep on the couch.” Yeah my office has a couch.

“Are you sure?” she starts to clean the wound on my head with the first aid kit that gets way to much use. “I guess it doesn’t look that bad. Probably doesn’t even need stitches.”

“See, I told you it wasn’t that bad, now let me sleep.”

“Fine I will get you a blanket” she rushes to the closet as I flop face first on the couch. “Here just don’t roll off the couch.” She puts the blanked on me, and walks to the door. She is sweet, and really beautiful. She is sweet but I will have to trust you on the second part. You are going to have to start looking at other women some day you know. Maybe someday, but not now.

“Will you 2 please shut up and let me sleep.”

Sorry boss. Good night.

Sleep comes quick and beautifully like a friend I haven’t seen in years.

things i hate 2, electric boogaloo

2009-06-09T09:17:00.003-04:00

if you didn't read part one go to that first here

14. Movies that are made only to be watched with the eventual sequel, the first matrix movie was so good because it was made to stand alone, yet the second and third ones must be seen together to get a full story, it makes both movies less then what they could be.
15. miracle whip, mayo is not a freakin statement of individuality, what do you think you are mountain dew? so yes please do tone it down.
16. that chick from fox and friends.... your nose job looks freaky
17. pants..... really hate pants
18. kate gosling, leave jon alone, he is so nice :P
19. people who don't understand why batman can kicks superman's ass, the man has billions of dollars, too much free time, a genius IQ and massive O.C.D. he can figure out how to kick anyone's ass with a lil prep time.
20. writer's block, i am going to be delivering furniture for ever if i never actually write something *pout*
21. Much music, first they got rid of ed the sock and now they are becoming MTV all shows no music. not to mention that today's popular music sucks.
22. driving, yes i kinda do it for a living, but really i do not enjoy driving.
23. family guy, yep i hate family guy, it use to be good, but now they think there untouchable because they came back from being canceled and they know fox doesn't have the balls to do it again, so they can be as crude as they want and not actually be funny.
24. WOW being offline on Tuesday mornings, Tuesday is my day off you pricks.
25. Being awake, and by extension reality, not my cup of tea ;)
26. highschool, you sucked!
27. 99% of tv commercials, they treat us like idiots, sept that one where the baby pees on the roof, thats funny shit :D
28. being this close to hitting 30 and running out of ideas even though i know i hate WAY more things.
29. marylon manson, seriously grow up emo boy, you are making the same song over and over again
30. that time whin my mac laptop died, i still miss you

probably to be continued again :)........

things i hate

2009-06-07T21:35:00.004-04:00

1. teenagers, seriously was i ever that annoying
2. pants, fuck pants
3. parents who let there 9 year old daughters wear daisy duke's, put on some damn pants kid and play with barbie
4. Tv shows being in repeats in the summer, who's idea was it way back when that tv shows get the summer off?? all of them too, how bout some and some.
5. pants..... really hate them
6. super villains, your going to loose (unless your written by mark millar) so why bother
7. money, i hate that i need it, now who wants to give me some :D
8. good things that go bad, like pizza and the tv show sliders
9. reality tv, hire a writer damn it
10. the fact that i can't fly, jiped!!
11. motivation, or lack there of
12. women crying, its like freakin Kryptonite
13. rap music, isn't this fad over?

to be continued........

the end of the season season

2009-05-19T10:46:00.004-04:00

it is the season for a season finale ... and they have been lack luster for the most part.

the shows i have been watching this season are

Bones
Heroes
Lie to me*
How i met your mother
Dollhouse
smallville
supernatrual

there have been other shows but they are the main ones i am going to talk about

WARNING spoilers if you haven't watched the above shows yet

Bones had a good idea by giving Booth a brain tumor (with hints littered through the entire season ending with Booth seeing stewie griffin in an interrogation. but the season finale took place in either booth's head or Bones' fiction (or both). they did use the episode as a way to bring back all the recurring characters in one episode and you get to see Booth and Bones make out (finally) but for the last episode in the season it was wasted. then of course when Booth wakes up and can't remember Bones.... cliffhanger, yes. overused, maybe. lame, YES. i love bones but that episode was a good mid season ender but not a seson finale.

Heroes the first half of the season seemed to contradict it's self and completely render it's self useless and forgotten even by itself. the second half of the season did seem to have a much better idea of where it was going but more importantly it stuck with it's own idea's and didn't erase all the forward momentum it created. the season finale had major changes and a dramatic cliffhanger.

Lie to me* good new show, most of the episodes have been kinda hit or miss, season finale was a miss.. don't get me wrong i liked it and enjoyed the plot, but i was hoping for a better showing for the last ep. the episode before the finale was much better of an episode to go out on.

How i met your mother great funny show that me and my wife just love, but this season has actually just been dragging along, second half more than the first but still it has been slow going and 4 years in we don't know who the mother is even though they were rumored to revel it this season. The finale was good, had some change and more steps in the direction of reveling the mother.

Dollhouse love this show, great show and in only half a season they managed to get through more character development than any other show this season. the finale was good and lived up the the rest of the season.

Smallville i was worried about the season when the show runners from the previous seasons left and were replaced, but i actually enjoyed most of the season, yet the finale left me unimpressed and kinda confused. there was some cliffhanger elements that worked well but most of the episode seemed like filler.

Supernatural loved the season, had it's moments when i was worried about where it was going but in the end I enjoyed it, the twist, the cliffhanger, the use of Carry on my wayward son, in the opening, supernatural finale's never disappoint. I knew ruby would go bad.

i realized as i was writing this that some how i shifted from spoilers-rific reviews to general reviews but to be honest i just watched the bones finale about 2 min before i started this so it was fresh in my mind.

geek o palusa

2009-05-06T08:09:00.003-04:00

lots of geeky things today such as a review of wolverine ..... but you will have to wait till the end to read that..... no skipping ahead ... and for those who haven't seen it i will warn you before i start talking about it *caughLauracough*

ok first off geek Christmas... or free comic book day :D its always the first saturday in may, and it is a day where comic book publishers give away... wait for it.... free comics... cool eh:D

most comic book stores use this day to have sales and the such.. all in all, it is great fun.

this year the lines were HUGE (i drove by 3 of the 4 comic book stores in town) bigger than i have ever seen before.

i did make it into the one by my work while on my lunch break... i mostly wanted to go for Blackest night #0 but ended picking up a cool new avengers story and the first issue of Preacher a series i have always wanted to read but just never had the time or the money to get caught up on it.

Blackest night was well worth the price of free, even if just for the black lantern's oath and the profiles on all 8 corps.. though i noticed a printing error.... the profile page for the Sinestro corps in the top left corner where there logo is.... isn't there logo, its the logo for the blue lantern corps but coloured yellow.... way to go boys lol

hmmm i am hungry bagel break......

WARNING AFTER BAGELS WILL BE WOLVERINE STUFF.... mmm bagel *nom nom*

*still eating bagel*

mmm that was good, herb and garlic cream cheese rules... ANYWAY

wolvie!!

k i am gonna start with the flaws and get them over with, flaws as in differences between the movie and the comics, it truth these are not flaws they are differences, the marvel earth (called earth 616) is just a separate universe, comic book fans should be able to understand that right, so everyone calm down.

ok so the 'flaws' wolverine and Sabertooth are not brothers, the character seems to be merged with Dog logan from the wolverine origin story. who was also not wolverine's brother but the rest of the lil beginning part was accurate from the origin.

wade wilson aka deadpool, is not a mutant, but he is given wolverine's healing power by weapon x, he is not how ever given 80000 other mutant powers.

Cyclops does not shoot lasers out of his eyes (stick with me here) he shoots a concussive force, so the scene where he shoots the roof off his school, would not have melting metal and flames, just allot of rubble.

Emma frost, is not Silverfox's sister, and her diamond skin does develop until years latter, her main mutant power is she is a psychic that can almost rival prof X

Gambit's powers are cooler in the comic book, my wife said it looks like the cards he throws electrocutes people instead of exploding like they should. and his accent should of been thicker.

my biggest problem is how wolverine lost his memories... really an adamantium bullet to the brain did it.... lame and boo i say.

all that aside (and i know i missed some, some cause i found them less important, and some cause i forgot) i enjoyed the movie.

its not a perfect wolverine story, he is obviously the wolverine from the movies as apposed to the comics, but it was enjoyable, it had gambit, lots of claw slashing, gambit, some good wolvie and sabie fights, a cool prison full of mutants you have to try and identify to get your geek card (did anyone else see magneto's kid), conformation on wolvie's canadian citizinship, gambit, deadpool (even if the was sparcly used at the begining and was some strange combo man at the end) oh did i mention it had gambit?

anywho i give it a 3.52 stars out of 5 go see it.... it has Gambit!

come on summer stop teasing me

2009-04-21T14:13:00.003-04:00

today i am cold... hurry up summer...

i have a couple things brewing in the old gray matter box today so here we go......

first i guess i will talk about London police.....

last week the police were arresting someone in front of the high school down the street from my work.... when the students of said school ATTACKED the police .... now maybe attacked is a bit rash but from what i understand the students started it by taunting police and interfering in an arrest. when the fight started between one student and one cop it quickly turned into a riot (as much as any Canadian scuffle can be called a riot i guess).....
worse then this the next day the students protested the police for assaulting the students them selves.... that's right a bunch of students attacked cops and then cried when the police fought back.

it doesn't matter if the person punching a cop is 34 or 16 the police must be aloud to defend themselves. no one was hurt in this fight and the students are in the wrong.... mostly

i guess the cop pushed the student first.... now i know how annoying high school students can be but we musent shove them.... least that is what my lawyer tells me.... lousy kids........ where was i ... oh yeah cop should not of pushed the kid but now matter what you don't hit a cop, they are under appreciated enough with out getting punched in the face by stoner teens..... if you see a cop arresting someone... let them do it ok they probably have a good reason.

then just yesterday London police spent hours dealing with an armed hostage situation (also not far from my work.... i work in a shitty part of town.....)

they managed to arrest the suspect and free all hostages with out injury ... good going boys

ok now something WAY less serious....

FUCKING WOW (and i mean wow as in world of warcraft)

i have stayed away from it as i am poor and monthly fees are stupid... and i hear it is highly addicting.... i am also weak :(

but i noticed that you can download a free 10 day trial so i figured what the heck give it a try.... apparently today they are shutting the whole damn game down today so i guess i get a 9 day trial.. freakin jip! i got it today because it is my day off and i did all my cleaning right away and i wanted to relax a little .... i normally don't have time to play games anyway ...... so of my 10 day trial today was the only day of it i could even guarantee i could play it at all...... hopefully i will get to try it but if not.... DAMN YOU BLIZZARD!!!!!!!!

fair well humble healers

2009-04-03T19:17:00.002-04:00

last night was the last episode of er. i am not a huge fan of the show but my wife watches it regularly and thus i had an interest.

i was a little lost as i haven't seen any of this season and only part of last but the general idea came through.

i enjoyed the passable parallel they drew to the aids victim who was diagnosed with cancer. he didn't want chemo because he had a good long life, longer then he may of been meant to. 15 years is longer than 95% of tv shows. so i don't know if they mean to say this but it is what i got from it.

they went out on there own terms and the end scene was perfect. all the doctors doing what they do best saving lives ... congrats to all the cast and crew of er.

and to Michael Crichton... yes the guy who wrote Jurassic park, he also created er... good on ya

creepy people

2009-04-01T09:04:00.003-04:00

the Duggars

ok maybe i should go into more detail there from the show 18(17) kids and counting.

i watched there show last night with my wife and they are creepy, i would never tell anyone how to live and the fact that everyone in there family seems happy makes it a whole lot better.

but it was the episode where there 20 year old son gets married.

he and his bride to be live such strict religious lives they they have never kissed or even been alone just the two of them.

add that to the fact that there wedding had no booze and no dancing.

my biggest problem is that apparently when they get married the man is totally in charge

i feel bad that i disagree with there way of life, that is normally not like me but i can't help but disagree.

i am worried about people forming a lasting relationship with out ever spending alone time together, with out getting to know who they are marrying.

even though i don't agree with they way they live i do wish them well

THATS IT i need a real update

2009-03-31T16:57:00.002-04:00

hello loyal fans..... hello? oh wait still no one out there.... meh

to start off i am cold.... we turned off the heat last week when it was really warm.... and it got cold
it was 12 c in here this morning we won't turn it back on cause the way the universe works that would make it be 25 c out tomorrow..... so we bite the bullet... the ice bullet.

also today my wife couldn't go to work today because she hurt her shoulder/neck. she works at a day care so the ability to pick up children is a must.

so we rented movies..... the worlds greatest movie combo... marley and me, and punisher: war zone. they worked so well together they should sell them in a two pack for a low low price.... or not

Marley and me was adorable, funny and sad and yes i still want a doggie :D even though they die :(

punisher was .... is there a word more violent then violent...... massacre-ific maybe? to be honest i enjoyed the first punisher movie more... yes it was less violent and thus less like the comic (which i was never a huge fan of anyway) but the story was better and he used his brain more then his guns. that being said the story in this movie wasn't bad but it was one of the movies where the story takes a backseat to the exploding heads.

side note my wife just made fun of me for bloging.... JELIOUS of my internet fame she is ;)

side side note i am still cold.

hmm anything else in my life that is worthy of blogging......

i got a hair cut.... thats not boring at all :D.

fine whatever i give up

i know i need to update this more and for now this is all i got.

oh hey you, long time no blog

2009-03-24T09:42:00.002-04:00

update on me
saw watchmen... AWESOME go see it
went to hamilton on st patties day HAD a GREAT time :)
went to yuk yuks on saturday hilarious ..... trevor boris (sp) from video on trial was there he is freakin funny
now i have a throbing headach that i NEED to go away seriously please stop hurting

i really need to do a real blog post but i am so tired and headachy lately that this is all you get for now

bye

cleaning

2009-03-15T19:51:00.002-04:00

haven't updated this in a long time, so here we go
tuesday is st patties day YAY will be in hamilton
wednesday person coming to inspect the house in order to give us more money (kinda)
so today i am cleaning... i hate cleaning
so back to cleaning i go

and go see watchmen (feel free to take me with you lol) it is awesome

really?? maybe.

2009-03-03T15:19:00.003-05:00

i totally think i got hit on by a pregnant girl with the sniffles today while inline at walmart. probably not. she was probably just chatty. side note should you be using Dristan if your knocked up???

also i finally got rid of my original health card (YES the red and white one) i know i am like 2 generation's of health cards behind but i liked old red stripey. so maybe it was being held together with tape and the only way to read the numbers is to find someone fluent in braille and my doctor has been telling me for years that this was the last time they were going to accept it. he was my loyal companion and he shall be missed. ... and the lady behind the counter simply crumpled him up and tossed him in the bin before i managed to say good bye.

so here it is good friend, you have been sat on put through the wash and mended with tape.. but you stuck with me, and i will miss you *wipes single tear from cheek*

ok sappy part out of the way. i think my tv is haunted... the volume keeps being louder and quieter with out it actually going up or down..... i am watching you tv... uhh in more ways then one i guess.... yeah so uh there.

at deaths door (heres a hint, the key is under the mat)

2009-03-01T19:09:00.002-05:00

i am currently recovering from being the sickest i have ever remember being.

not to gross anyone out but i found out it is indeed possible to both vomit and poo at the same time. it is NOT fun.

and now i hurt all over probably partially from dehydration and from all the muscles in my body contracting at once in order to empty everything i have eaten in the last 24 years from by stomach. on the plus side my wife said i look like i lost weight so thats nice :).

side note watchmen opens on friday and i am getting excited :):):)\

also i think i found a way for this blog to instantly(ish) go to my facebook so lots of ppl may be seeing this and being confused. this is my blog http://youwantonetoo.blogspot.com/ i post here sometimes random thoughts like today sometimes i do things more construstive .. enjoy

Comic Review: Invincible 59

2009-02-24T10:32:00.005-05:00

this is a stand alone issue so it is a good one to review.

first off a little back history. i love this comic, i didn't manage to get on board right at the start of the series but it has won me over.

its about a young boy (at first) named mark who's father (omni-man) is his worlds greatest hero (Ala superman) he comes from another world in order to protect ours.

so mark grows up knowing one day he will develop powers like his father's (maybe not as strong as he is half human)

one day while working at the burger place after high school he launches a bag of garbage into orbit (it lands a few issues latter i think in Russia)

he starts to develop more powers and starts training with his father and becomes the hero Invincible.

only there is a slight problem, Omni-man was actually sent to earth to conquer it, he has just been having fun playing hero for all these years, but he has started killing other heroes.

Mark disgusted with his fathers actions confronts him and they have an all out super brawl. the kind of comic legend.

in this fight much damage is caused to the world.

that leads us into this issue (well besides teh 50 issues in the middle).

during there fight there was casualty's and one man, Scott, lost someone very dear to him, his sister Jessica.

He blames Invincible and is convinced that he and Omni-man staged the whole thing to endure Invincible to the public after Omni-man was outed.

he is a scientist and steals new technology from his work in order to bust his existing energy absorption and manipulation powers to a level where he can confront Invincible. thus becoming POWERPLEX (they can't all be good names)

the genius (mmm meatballs) of this issue is Scott's relationship with his wife and son.

His wife is completely supportive of his choice to fight Invincible and actually gets mad when he goes looking for him with out telling her so she could be there to watch.

after a few failed attempts to coax Invincible out (he keeps getting second rate heroes) by 'attacking' (all he does is destroy some cars and such) the public he finally hatches a plan to 'kidnap' his wife and son and hold them hostage till Invincible shows up.

Finaly he arrives and they fight, Scott holds his own quite well, but ends up getting so worked up that he over uses his powers and Kills his own wife and son. turning the story from an emotional tale of loss to a devastating lesson in reality. though Scott misses the lesson and now blames Invincible for the death of his wife and son along with that of his sister.

the story has little face time for our favourite teen alien hero but is both humours and deeply emotional.

oscar reactions

2009-02-23T08:01:00.003-05:00

first off i didn't watch it... its to long and there is alot of stuff i don't care about in it... i really only care about a few category's

best writing (both original and adapted)
best editing,

and well the rest it depends on what is nominated

this year of course i was interested in best supporting actor which was won by Heath Ledger and rightfully so, and not because he died. his joker take was original and creepy, and if the guy from 10 things i hate about you can creep me out he must be a good actor right.

the only part i did catch was best makeup, i know eh random category to watch. but it obviously happened for a reason because i have something to say about it.

HELLBOY GOT SCREWED!
yes i can understand that making brad pitt look various stages of old takes alot of work, so i am not saying they are not deserving of a reword and recognition but the about of work that went into hellboy is probably like 3 times as much as bengi button.

other then that it is all fluff

well i did catch Ben Stiller coming out dressed as Joaquin Phoenix HILARIOUS

p.s. strawberry milk still rules, just not with jalapeno chips...

worlds best advice (this may just save your life)

2009-02-22T19:43:00.002-05:00

do not, i repeat DO NOT combine strawberry flavoured milk (or probably any flavour of milk) and Jalapeno chips... it is not good for the tummy

side note screw you spell check this is canada and it is spelled flavoUr not flavor... Yankee basted *burp* oh i do not feel well :(

ouch

2009-02-20T20:12:00.003-05:00

first off, if you know me you probably know that i am a jokester and like to laugh, so the fact that i think i pulled some muscle in my ab area and it hurts to laugh SUCKS!!!!!!!!!

second off David Boreanaz is FREAKING hilarious, last night's Bones he was hopped up on Vicodin, he is good at being goofy.

best David Boreanaz scene ever is in bones, where Bones comes in to Booth's bathroom and he is in the tub (naked) reading a Green lantern comic with one of thoes beer hats on.

loved it, even thought it made my gut hurt

side note David is probably the worlds most famous Green Lantern fan, though i don't know if that came before or after he played Hal Jordan in The New Frontier

what makes a good story.

2009-02-17T11:46:00.003-05:00

Stories are what makes the world go around. everything is a story. everything you do or see. there are the obvious, books, tv shows, movies, comics, music and there are the not so obvious, the news, the stock market, history, what you had for breakfast. our entire lives are one big story that could be told some day.

but what makes a story worthy of being told to the masses. (well if you watch reality tv you may think there are no standards) what makes us watch (or read or listen or live) one story over an other. besides personal preference, there must be something that makes one story better than another.

it is my belief that what we need is something new. a story that stands out from the rest, like say a black man being elected president of the united states of America.

even a different take on an old premise could be enough to make a story interesting.

i am a firm believer in the old adage, "its not the destination, but the journey"

also everyone loves the underdog (not the puppy). a story of triumph, of coming from nothing to win. or almost win, like in rocky, which is a story about the journey more then the victory, he makes it to the game and gives it his all, even when he loses he wins.

what we don't need is the same story told over and over again. (really is superhero movie any different than date movie or disaster movie or epic movie... just with different horrible movie references)

or a movie that is based on a novel or videogame or....you know what just see my post on wanting to see push.

now the expert on making original stories in my opinion is Joss Whedon, most famous for creating Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

if you watched his new show Dollhouse, you know why i think he is original, the idea is just so simply out there that it realy seems like it could never work, yet the first episode was incredibly well done, and he somehow makes his zany plot believable and realistic(ish). i won't spoil it if you haven't seen it but, Eco's personality's breakdown was genious (mmm meat balls..... long story)

i love stories, i love to creat them watch them read them hear them and telling them. my problem is getting my story out of my head in a way that makes sence (hopefully this blog will help me focus that)

so please tell me what you think makes a good story .... no one comments on my blog enough LOL so please share... that means you... yes you, no there is no one behind you... YES YOU!! :) good now share.... like elmo says SHARE!!

they look like smurfs.... but cranky

2009-02-16T16:10:00.009-05:00

I am an avid green lantern fan (as the tattoo of the green lantern logo on my right middle finger may tell you) so this has been annoying me for a long time.

Kyle Rayner made a sacrifice of the power of Ion in order to bring back all the long dead guardians.
side note the all the guardians (minus Ganthet) died as a result of Hal Jordan, greatest of the green lantens, being under the control of the parallax entity. they gave there lives and there power to produce one last green lantern ring (one slightly different then the previous ones) in order to keep the corp alive after Jordan murdered all the current members and destroyed the central power battery

that one ring went to Kyle, or the torch barer as he was latter known.

when Kyle came in possion of the Ion entity he became quite powerful, so powerful in fact that he used his power ring to recreate the guardians that gave there lives to make it.

BUT he decided to bring them back as children. you see the guardians have a track record for being cold and calculating, and kyle believed that it was because, being immortal, they lived so long they forgot how to care and love.

so he thought he if he recreated them as children they would have to grow up and they would be more compassionate.

the problem is it didn't work, there still cold and unflinching in there belief that they are solely in the right and there opinions are the only ones that should be considered.

this going into the blackest night storyline is obviously going to get them into trouble.

there are exceptions to the rule of course... both Ganthet and Sayd left Oa in order to form a new corp based on the power of hope.

and then there is scar.. who's soul is rotting ... or some crap like that, he is feeling the negative aspect of emotions, she is in deep with the blackest night.

the point is if i was kyle i would walk into the Guardians chambers and give them a piece of my mind. he gave them life, they should show him respect and consider why he did it and understand the need for caring guardians.

but we all know they don't like listing to reason.

this comic was created by the geniuses at comiccritics.com god i love that site.

valentines day

2009-02-15T15:44:00.002-05:00

so for valentines day this year i got a book.

it is a smart funny and even true book. i suggest you all pick it up and read it lol. the author is a 9 year old boy who is a genius lmao

the real gift though is she is going to take me to see watchmen when it comes out. (well the real gift is probably that she will actually go with me to the movie) so i can't wait for that :) come on march 6th...

Is AWESOME

2009-02-12T21:29:00.002-05:00

i totally just won the lotto...... but no retiring for me, no white sandy beaches and drinks that come in coconuts .... cause i only won $70.70 YAY pizza and gas money ... i don't owe that girl from walmart the 100 bucks i told her i would give her if i won the jackpot.

hrmm

2009-02-11T20:46:00.001-05:00

aperantly my wife must be monitered around my blog... and maybe the widows gadget thingie was a bad idea... to easy of access

hahahaha

2009-02-11T20:44:00.001-05:00

andrew is smelly!

just a thought

2009-02-11T15:03:00.001-05:00

Bring back Farscape... i don't even mean new eps.... just put the repeats back on air... come on!!!

i am a thief

2009-02-11T14:20:00.002-05:00

i just watched the movie push (streaming from online so the 1 hour and 40ish movie probably took me over 2 hours to watch with all the pausing for it to load more while i folded laundry and put away the clean dishes :D)

the version i watched was a cam copy so i missed all the subtitles (it takes place in Tokyo so there was alot of it) and it was blury and the sound was fuzzy... so i can't comment on the visual affects sound affects and probably not even the acting lol

but i did like the general story, nothing over original mind you, but good.

totaly left open for a sequel but not in the really bad way where your like... thats it? what the hell? what happens next? *coughmatrixreloadedcough*

more just like wow that was good... i wonder what happens next *coughthematrixcough*... wait why did i hide that one?? nevermind

so movie was good but i must see it in a better format..... wonder when it will be out on dvd.... since i hear it didn't really do that well probably soon.

kevin smith loves wayne gretzky

2009-02-11T11:30:00.003-05:00

Kevin smith was hilarious, that is all

ok here is a little more than that :D

apparently since his last movie tanked (and by tanked i mean didn't do as well as clerks II) all he has been doing is smoking pot and watching Wayne Gretzky video's... and crying (about the video's not his movie tanking)

but despite his pot abuse he was still on (and he did say that he doesn't smoke any pot before he does the show) he did seem to have some memory problems, remembering what the person had asked. he was just as funny as he was when i saw him 4 years ago.

the real story behind the show was the fact that my friend from college who i hadn't seen in years happened to sit RIGHT beside me. what are the odds eh. it was great :)

the end is neigh

2009-02-07T11:04:00.003-05:00

kevin smith tonight.... for my wife it will be her first time seeing him for me it would be the second.... oh it shal be fun. :D:D last time he was on for so long they had to kick him off stage TWICE.

LAY THE PODIUM DOWN!!!!!!!!! no man roll it out!!

almost there

2009-02-05T08:57:00.001-05:00

2 working days left till kevin smith....... can i make it???

:( christian bale why?

2009-02-04T07:23:00.003-05:00

Bale had a lovely lil freak out (this clip is uncensored by the way kiddies) on the set of the new terminator movie.

now i like christian bale, alot, probably bordering on man crush lot. but since no one reads this blog i am sure my secret is save lol

and i understand why he was pissed, the DP walked into the shot in the middle of filming, and according to the rant not for the first time. that is bad, like get fired bad really.

but i am not going to defend his tirade on the man, it went way to far and his anger was out of control.

AND this is one of those examples of an actor who thinks he is in charge of the movie too, hey christian guess what it is not your *bleepin* job to scream at the *bleepin* crew when they make a *bleepin* mistake, its the *bleepin* director's job.

your a good actor mr bale.... but you get no angry whopper till you learn to control your self, k.

busy week

2009-02-03T07:55:00.002-05:00

on the weekend i had 2 of my nieces sleep over Saturday night then took them and one other niece to Disney on ice... YAY (was actually fun). so didn't have a weekend off so to speak lol... then i work all week and Saturday i am going to see Kevin smith live in Toronto YAY. but i am sooo tired now and can only see myself getting more tired as the week progresses ..... hopefully i don't get cranky :)

update to time travel (or i'm a jerk)

2009-01-30T07:17:00.002-05:00

apparently i missed the point of why my wife thinks we can't travel forward in time...

it is because if we can go forward in time that means that the future is written and nothing we do affects things.

i still disagree as, if you take your self out of time to move forward everyone will still act accordingly and the future will be shaped by there actions. thus the future could be vastly different if you leave the present at different times (even by a matter of seconds) but there would still be a future.

still win :D at least till someone can prove me wrong

Time Travel

2009-01-29T08:54:00.003-05:00

ok class today we will be debating time travel. open your text books to page 52.

seriously though this is a conversation i have with my wife all the time, we both believe in being able to go in different directions.

i believe if time travel is possible then it is possible to go forward in time, and she believes it is possible to go back in time.

first of my theory (if she wants to go first she can have her own blog)

i believe in going forward in time because it is a simple matter of taking your self out of the time stream, letting it continue as normal, and then re entering it at the desired time. when you are out of time you would obviously not age or even notice the passage of time thus it would only feel like an instant.

she believes that you can go back in time because since it has already happened it is there in it's set state you just need to go to the specific spot in time and visit it.

(at this point i would like to point out how much i love my wife... hehehe)

my flaw in her plan is that if you go back in time you change time thus altering all reality and destroying reality.... or just making Obama loose the election.

i believe her flaw in my plan is something like if you go to the future like that you won't be able to see your self in the future which i say .... well yeah... so i think i win :D

please feel free to put your opinions in the lil comment box down there *points down*

WHAT is wrong with you people!!

2009-01-27T19:31:00.002-05:00

so apparently there going to push back the the switch over to DTV (again i might add) because people think that no one will be ready.

there probably right of course, according to the article 6.5 million (yeah million) are not ready.

this switch has been coming for YEARS, it has been pushed back several times and for 6.5 million Americans to not be ready for it is just sad, not to mention that this means 6.5 million people still use rabbit ears to watch tv. WOW people try to keep up. and American government, stop babying your citizens or they will never learn.

movie review: The Mummy Tomb of the Boring Emperor

2009-01-27T11:38:00.003-05:00

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

first off i want to say that i HATE it when they replace an actor in a sequel.
so going into this movie i was already weary of its lack of Rachel Weisz, and the attempt to make light of it didn't help me get past it.

second the big bad villain, Emperor Han, NOT a freakin mummy at all, he happens to be undead (although i am not even sure i would count him as undead really) but in my opinion he is not a mummy. a mummy implies not just being undead but the manner in which you are preserved. if anything he is a Golem mixed with a lil bit of Zombie.

ok with those two opening flaws out of the way lets get to the rest of them.

13 years apparently separate this movie from the last in the series, even with this large gap, i find it hard to believe some of the changes in the characters relationships and personality.

Rick and Alex's relationship has become distant and strained due to (according to Evy) Rick being the typical father of the time and with holding his emotions from his child. yet in The Mummy Returns, there is nothing to imply he is anything but a loving and caring father.

also Evy becoming and author by exploiting her previous adventures as works of fiction doesn't flow right, that would be something Jonathon would do (and he does exploit the whole my mummy thing to make a night club around the theme) but not her.

Now Evy and Rick becoming spy's during the war, that i can buy, and thus there boredom with retirement i can also buy.

quick side note, the first Mummy movie was set in the 1926 and this one in 1946.... thus making Evy and Rick a possible 20 years older than they were in the first movie.... there both looking very good for there advanced age.

back to the movie.

some simple plot elements also just seem to not fall into place for me. how does becoming immortal give you the ability to become a dragon.... seriously tell me how that works. if it does then why did the two immortal girls not just become dragons and kick his arse.

ok enough with the bad.

guess what, i liked the movie, yup all that bitching and i still kinda dug it, its a movie you can sit down turn your brain off and enjoy. it obviously could of been better and been better easily, but after your third trip to the well sometimes you don't have enough water to fill the bucket.

the action sequences where fair and entertaining, the special affects where not awe inspiring but they were far from tacky at the same time. mostly it was just a great ball of average. and there is nothing wrong with average.

so not as good as the first and second ones but hell if you don't own the first two already i say get the Trilogy pack. although the packaging for the old trilogy pack (where they included the scorpion king as one of the films for some demented reason) was way cooler looking.

that's it. that's my review, do with it what you will. and i hope you enjoyed it.

a movie based on what?

2009-01-25T19:33:00.000-05:00

my first real post eh? here we go.

this post is about the upcoming movie Push,

i am a comic book fan but even i am getting tired of seeing every movie in the last 5 years being based on a video game or comic book or novel or older movie or tv show or theme park ride or child's feverish nightmare. have we truly used up every original idea.

so imagine my surprise when i saw a commercial for a sci fi movie that looks half decent and find out it is based on a script for a movie. SHOCKING i know. who would ever imagin that in this day and age people in the world want to see something they have never seen before.

that being said it is far from a totaly original idea, group of people with special powers hiding there abilities and living on the run from the government. i can think of a few similar works of entertainment:

Heroes
x-men
Dark angel (especialy the dystopian future aspect)
and about a thousand more

but its not always the story but the journey. i am willing to overlook the overused premis to find out how it is presented in a new way.

please don't let me down.

hopefully when that movie comes out i can watch it and do a review of it to see if it lives up to my own internal hype.

first time (be gentle)

2009-01-25T19:07:00.000-05:00

i am hoping to actually update this thing, but if not, i am sure no one is actually going to read it lol.

first off i am lazy so notice all the non capitalized words.. get use to it.

second, i am a geek (not a nerd as they are smart) i may use geeky references as such.

third, enjoy the ride suckers.

now a little about me:

my name is Andrew, i am married to my beautiful (far more beautiful than me) wife Jacqueline, why she puts up with me i will never know.

i am 24 with a crap job but a good life. i love comic books, TV, books, i am just a fan of media in general.

my favorite superhero is the Green Lantern (Hal is top fallowed by Kyle then killowog then sodam yat..... then probably mongo)

i one day want to be a writer: novels, comics, movies ect.

i am in part starting this blog because a psychic told my father in law i would, and since the other things she told him sounded good (some came true) i might as well play along right?

i am planing on reviewing movies and comics and novels, as well as bitching about live and reveling in the simple happy moments i go through.

i named my blog monkey butler after a conversation i had with my niece as to what i would buy with a million dollars.... i would want a monkey butler to bring me drinks (admit it you want one too)

well i hope i can update this regularly and have some topics people would be interested in.

i might even make another post tonight... i have something in mind for it