my woody theory

first things first i mean woody as in sheriff woody from toy story.

my wife and i were watching toy story 3 on the weekend (an increadably depressing movie bye the way) and jacqueline asked why woody never had a kid before Andy, since he is as old as Jessie, who had a kid before being sold or abandoned or something... and being stuck with that collector guy.

so where was woody before Andy had him?

my theory is he use to belong to Andy's dad, that's right, Andy's father never appears in any of the movies, nor is he even mentioned.

so i got to thinking, where could he be? he could of left them or was never even in the picture, but maybe he died, and before he died he gave his favorite toy to Andy and told woody to keep an eye on Andy.

this explains why no matter what Woody will not give up on Andy, and why he is so fiercely loyal to him at all costs.

even though he is just a toy he does take care of Andy and loves him. He even helps Andy move on in life and go to college (won't explain that in case anyone has not seen part 3)

but yeah that is my theory, the crazy things that go through my head eh?


well if you have any other theories i would love to hear them...

to christmas or not to christmas

First off, I love Christmas LOVE IT!!!!

Yet my wife insists on starting the Christmas season now i.e. Christmas movies Christmas songs and that the tree must be up before December 1st.

I believe that all should be saved until December, that still gives you 26 days (including boxing day) for the Christmas season. this is plenty, why spread it out to the point where you forget to enjoy it while it is here. condensed Christmas is more potent than watered down Christmas.

Its bad enough that they put out Christmas stuff at walmart and the like before Halloween even finishes, and we have Christmas commercials braiding us soon afterwords.

THE BEST part of Christmas this year is going to be Lachlan's reactions to the tree and presents. that I can't wait for, the rest I want to enjoy and a reasonable pace so I can remember what really matters, Family.



AND egg nog.... mmm nog

YOU NEED TO STOP

Every Friday morning i see people posting TGIF, seriously you all suck.

who are you people who work Monday to Friday jobs, what wold is this. the majority of us people work Saturdays, because we all suck.

i am advocating for a ban on "TGIF" unless of course we are talking about the wicked cool line up on abc (go teen angle go). until we all work Monday to Friday jobs we should be kind to us weekend impaired, if you do work Monday to Friday you have no idea how much it sucks to have to see all that stuff every week.

so please stop, i will give you cookies*






*cookies will automatically be installed on your computer when visiting my blog

babies are anarchist's

thats right i said it,

baby's hate order, they see a shelf of dvd's they have to pull them off, you pile his bricks up into a building he knocks it down, you put there toys away they pull them out again even if they aren't playing with them.

baby's crave chaos. if babies ruled the world all would be lost to whims and fancy, and poop.

yet just like true anarchist's the secretly need order, set nap and feeding times. the constant of parental love.

despite the baby's foolish desire for chaos, it is order they truly need.

wipes off the cobwebs

test test does this thing still work???

hmm seems to, lets see for sure

Bless me followers for i have sined, it has been 3 months since my last blog.

lots has happened in these 3 months, my son is now (almost) 9 months old.

he not only sits up by him self he stands up walks along the couch talks (i swear he says dada) and has one tooth. he seems to have the superhuman ability to constantly become cuter and cuter.

he loves to laugh and play. also likes to eat the phone and splash in the tub.
he is a constant source of joy in my life. i live to come home and play tag with him and my lovely wife.

any day now he will be walking and running and causing (more) trouble.

he also loves cheerios but then who doesn't

also i have moved within my job i no longer deliver furniture, ok well i still do, but my job is now technically a collector. i get to call all the people who don't pay there bills. so far its fun.

all this and i am still handsome, why is everyone laughing?????? you all suck i am going to bed.

he is wearing what?... He's Playing WHO!!??

first off i would like to say that i am a huge green lantern fan, HUGE. I have a green lantern logo tattooed on my finger, like that huge.

so of course i am looking forward to the movie coming out next year (June 17 2011 to be exact) staring Canadian actor Ryan Renyolds, pee my pants excited... wait did i say that out loud... never mind that part.

ANYWAY, you can imagine my excitement when i heard they released a picture of Ryan in his much hyped cgi costume, and THIS is what i got

WHAAAAAAT?

this is what his costume is meant to look like. ohh yeah.

so now i am worried, sure they have plenty of time to change the costume, it is cgi after all, but will they, hopefully they will see an outrage from the fans, in fact, everyone should go HERE and vote for either "Meh, Talk about mediocre." or " why is it glowing? to much CGI!"

now moving away from DC and on to Marvel,

they outed Edward Norton from playing the Hulk, which i was against anyway, but now they are talking about casting Mark Gruffalo, to play the hulk... wait, what? not Gruffalo? Ruffalo? oh, ok what ever still, he is the dude from 13 going on 30 (yes i understand that movie also stared Jennifer "Elektra" Garner-Afleck, but that movie sucked, and yes i still own it) but still this man does not come off geeky enough to play Bruce Banner (sorry Norton, but you do!!)

that is still a rumor anyway so hopefull it doesn't pan out, and maybe Norton and marvel will make peace. but that i doubt.

Mulan.. bad for kids??

i am currently watching Mulan, yes the disney movie based on a Chinese poem. what you didn't know it was based on a poem... wow, try and keep up.

anywho i am watching it with my niece, and i realized something, Mulan disobeys her parents and it all works out well. it teaches kids (mostly young girls) that if they miss behave they will become war heroes, this is simply not the case.

the majority of people who disobey get punished, not a medal.... so to all the young girls out there who are reading this (HA) listen to your parents, and stay the hell away from the Huns, they are bad bad people....

143 beer drinkin years

i present a list of awesome Canadians and why they are awesome...

1. Michael J "Teen Wolf" fox, you look at back to the future and tell me it isn't awesome

2. Dan Aykroyd, Ghostbusters, Cone heads, and even that short lived tv show soul man.... ok maybe not that last one.

3. Jim Carrey, based solely on his days on In Living Colo(u)r

4. Keifer sutherland, yeah yeah he is on that 24 show (or was since it is done now) but he will always be the bad ass vampire from the lost boys.... (my wife is going to kill me for that)

5. Ryan "Green Lantern" Reynolds, Two Guys a Girl and a pizza place was awesome, no doubt.

6. Nathan Fillion, Captian Malcom Reynolds is space's biggest bad ass, move over Kirk

7. Anna Paquin, yeah lately she is naked alot on true blood... BUT she won an oscar at age 11.. what were you doing when you were 11.

8. Chris potter, yeah that guy from Kung Fu the legend continues, BUT he also played Gambit in the 90's cartoon, and he lived most of his young life in london... awesome.

9. Paul Gross, Due south was actually a really good show and he has done alot for canadian tv and cinema.

1o. Leslie Nielsen... need i say anymore then that eh


there are Hundreds more i know but i am to busy so deal with ten and happy canada day to the best country in the world....

never say never

UNTIL.... you have kids....

this is an ongoing list of things i never expected to say or do in my life... and yet here they come....

1. "there's a tub in my tub??" - said when you go to have a shower and there is a small bathtub in my bathtub.

2. "wow what a great dookie." - never did i think i would ever be excited of another human's bodily functions... yet when your kid doesn't dookie for 2 days and drops a bomb you get excited... strange eh

3. "hahahahah" "what?" "he peed on me" - to think that i would ever get peed on and find it funny is ludicrous

4. "those kids shouldn't be doing that." - when you see some kids doing something you had fun doing, yet may be dangerous, you now see the error of your youthful ways.

5. after a day of a baby crying all day and giving you no rest, he finally goes to bed......"i miss him."

6. holding your baby all day and finally having someone take him..... a wanting to take him back immediately (related to no 5)

that is all for now.... as my son only sleeps for short amounts of time ..... and i miss him.....

never would of thunk it

so today i saw an under cover police car. not to uncommon but something was different about this one.

when you think of an under cover police car what do you think of, i think of a normal police car but dark blue and with the lights hidden unless turned on, heck i have even seen dark blue dodge chargers, but there always dark blue and shiny and clean.

this car, as i said was different ..... it was an older beat up silver Pontiac g6... who the hell would of suspected that eh... ingenious in its simplicity, i can picture the meeting at the police station now.

Captain: "we haven't been having as much luck with our under cover officers as we would like, any one have any suggestions?"

random cop: "how bout we stop washing them every day."

Cap: "what do you mean?"\

cop: "well, who has a 3 year old car that is clean as new every day, while i am at it, why not use a different type of car then we use for the regular cruisers too."

Cap: "...... uhhhh?"

cop: "people know what a cop car looks like even when it doesn't have a set of lights on top."

Cap: "...... wow, how come no one has ever suggested this before????"

Cop: " i dunno too busy shooting bears??"



HEY YO


that bear joke is timely but i am sure it will stand the test of time.

whats a blog?????

so here i am close to 4 months with out a real blog update... that's redonkulous right.... bite me it has been a busy time for me.... i had a kid after all...

Thats right Monday January 25th at 5:08 am weighing 7 pounds 5 and measuring in at 19.5 inches Lachlan William Viger ESQ (ok not ESQ) was born.

since then there have been some good times and some worrying times, he has already had a urinary tract infection and due to his young age he had to be admitted to the hospital for 7 days of observation and IV antibiotics.... so yeah sorry i didn't come on and rant *sarcasm*

but there have been so many moments that make it all worth while... like when he wakes up in the morning and i go to get him, he sees me and gets his huge smile... or when he does things like makes a sound so loud he startles him self, or has long in depth conversations with his good friend toucan Pam. this kid is so damn cute you want to hug him till he squishes, which i have been told i am not aloud to do.

so his 3 month birthday is approaching (happens to fall on my fathers birthday) and he is starting to sleep better, he sleeps through the night no problem from 8(ish)pm until somewhere between 6 and 7 am, his day time naps are improving as well but were still working on that... and by we i mean mostly my lovely wife.

ah yes my wife, here all day with the little Lach-ness-monster, dealing with his crying and refusal to stay asleep for the length of time his body needs, and does it all with a smile, she is the proudest mother there could be. heck she even refuses to be called anything but mommy now because its the best title she could ever want.

so does this rant mean that maybe i will have time to post more blogs in the future... who knows but i will try, i mean Dave is probably going through withdrawal with out them.

coming soon

coming soon to my blog (hopefully)....

1. Why Transformers 2 sucks

2. baby bloging

3. the broccoli is a miracle guy pisses me off

4. spiderman movie news rants

5. general geekdom

i am really hoping to have some time to flush out these topics i am sure once the baby comes i will have plenty of time......... for some reason my wife is laughing at me.